• lasagna@programming.dev
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    1 year ago

    If making friends in our teens and 20s was so easy then we wouldn’t need to make more friends in our 30s.

    Making friends isn’t the hard part. Maintaining the friendship is. It’s a lot of effort and often involves doing more work than the other party, especially if they have a busier life. But it also involves a lot of failures, as plenty of them just aren’t meant to be. I look more at the effort others put back into the relationship than how much I like them, as the former is a much better indicator of the potentials.

    • lucid_clam@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I beg to differ. Especially when you have career growth and it becomes inappropriate to be friends with most of your peers. Add in the lack of kids (common in the 30’s) it’shard to find common ground. At least my wife and dog are my best friends…

      • lasagna@programming.dev
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        1 year ago

        I see. Fortunately, friendship at the jobs I’ve had never proved to be an issue. I guess because my work is highly collaborative, this is often a natural outcome.

        I’m thankful for having the luxury to choose my workplaces and I would never pick a place that expects me to leave my life at the door. Of course though, I respect my colleagues who wish to do so but I have found that very few of them wish for a strictly professional relationship.

    • guybrush@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      This. Your peers in their 30s are generally easy to talk to and you can become friends in some terms quite easily but then finding time to just hang out or go somewhere seems to be so very hard. It helps me a lot to have some regular hobbies to have at least something going on socially.