• 1 Post
  • 69 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: July 9th, 2023

help-circle


  • Logically, if he treats the sex worker right, with no demanding, no (non negotiated/sane) violence, and his actions don’t extend into monogamous relationships, and his views on future sexual partners are neither transactional nor cruel, it should be fine.

    Emotionally would likely be a different story for the partner, or at least for me. Partly due to the stigma attached to sex work, and partly due to feelings of inadequacy or worry about needing to perform unwanted acts, and partly due to a suspicion that that really would affect his views, because people’s thoughts and feelings are messy, sprawling things that don’t fit into the mental cabinets we stuff them into. But if the partner couldn’t get over that, then they’re not for him.

    And yes, this applies to women who pay for sex workers, too. Or at least it damn well should.












  • Forgiving myself for feeling them.

    Realizing that my emotional reaction is 1) human and 2) understandable and 3) a reaction, not an inevitability, can allow me to mentally (and physically, if necessary) step back. A sharp emotion is not yet a sharp word, and my initial reaction to a situation can be both normal and wrong, but I’m not locked in to that initial feeling. I can interpret and interrogate and change my mind.

    It’s hardly easy to do that in high stress situations, but as a general rule it doesn’t help to fight high emotion with another high emotion like shame. Awareness of what causes them, knowing yourself and how you react and nurturing the patience to give yourself time and space to process can go a long way to making you feel less volatile.


  • Well, there’s the obvious will, but since it doesn’t specify how you die: an advanced directive.

    An advanced directive is a document wherein you, while living and conscious and with control of your mental faculties, detail end of life care in the event that you are not capable of providing informed consent. You can detail how much and what kind of resuscitative or palliative efforts are made, assign someone you trust to make medical decisions for you, and what to do with your body.

    DNRs (do not resuscitate, meaning no CPR done on you if your heart stops) are parts of advance directives and if you are serious about one make sure it gets into your medical chart: EMS personnel MUST provide CPR if it isn’t official.

    If your family/friends situation is poor, contentious, and/or you can’t trust them to make the right choices for you medically, this can save you a painful death. Unfortunately, a lot of end of life “care” is the family’s attempt at prolonging the heartbeat of a nearly dead person because they can’t accept loss.

    If your situation is good, it can still be a huge load off people’s minds to know that there’s a plan being followed, and it can prevent any rifts from forming. Even though you won’t see it, it’s a kindness to your loved ones to give them some peace of mind during what is often a chaotic and confusing time.



  • If a workplace:

    • Does not routinely interact with the public/people outside the company (ex: delivery people)
    • Has all members give equally respected, explicit consent (so new hires has the negotiations start over) for which dogs and how long and off limits areas and dog owners know they are responsible for routine cleaning and general animal care
    • Is not my workplace

    Then sure, have fun.

    Otherwise no. For the sake of those with allergies, those with a fear of dogs (some), those who can’t stand the noise/smell/distraction (me), it’s cruel to impose your pet upon others in places where that is not the default; if you work at a pound that’s different. If you need accommodations, by all means, seek those out, but those should aim to negatively affect other people as little as possible.