Sensitivity and fellowship, yet my (former) friend who is a big stoner has gone all-in on conspiracy theories and is championing the Reform party in the UK because Labour are apparently race traitors. Guess weed can’t do all the lifting.

You’re hiring junior programmers for $145k a year? Americans have too much money, I swear. The rest of the world has juniors on less than a third of that if they’re in Europe.

You’d think you could have doubled down on the joke and revealed that the person on the other end of the phone wasn’t actually a person at all, it was an AI.

Yeah but Ælfwine got there by accident, and wasn’t escorted by elves.

It’s neither, it’s the Will of Eru Illuvatar that determines whether you can travel the Straight Road or not. Ælfwine travelled the Straight Road and landed at Tol Eressëa in 869AD after fleeing the Danes, and he was a Man, not an Elf.

How the fuck can a faucet be smart? It’s a valve! It turns one way, or it turns the other way! It is only slightly less dumb than the counter top!