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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 29th, 2023

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  • Yeah. I think that’s one of the points of the anti porn people that I don’t necessarily disagree with the point they’re making I just think they’re overly focused on the thing they see as sinful and ignoring that a) there’s porn where the bodies look real, b) porn isn’t the only culprit here, movies, tv, social media, advertisements, etc all depict similarly unrealistic depictions of bodies and it’s in that landscape where a vast majority of entertainment contains such unrealistic depictions that this is able to happen, and c) that’s still not a sufficient argument to ban a form of expression, if it was there’d be a lot more in need of banning see point b

    I think point b is really the crux here. It doesn’t matter whether your unrealistic depiction of sexual partners is movie stars, porn stars, anime, or what sitcoms depict the average family as; if you aren’t engaging in real life with real people you’re going to get unrealistic expectations.

    And I don’t really have a solution that doesn’t involve pressuring people to touch grass. Like that’s clearly what they need, but especially for incels they’re going to be rejected by communities when they try because they’re behaving terribly and sometimes hurting people in the process.







  • I’ve been stably poly for 5 years and my biggest lesson has been that stably poly people aren’t who new people wind up with because we aren’t churning through people. I’m just in two long term relationships at the moment. I’m open to another; but I’m very discerning about it. I have a few friends in similar positions.

    I think being ethically nonmonogamous is hard but mostly because it’s hard to be vulnerable and treat people right when all your hormones and emotions are flaring. But some of the people I most respect the relationship wisdom of are poly as well. Others are monogamous, and yet both the monogamous and nonmonogamous ones sound very similar when talking about relationships. They speak of honesty, self knowledge, emotional regulation, and a willingness to walk away before it becomes a shit show once you understand it’s no longer working.

    But I’ll say this, I’m never going back to monogamy. It wasn’t where I was supposed to be.