Jimmybander

Blue Bell. They killed people with their listeria negligence.

These comments could be part of an episode of Qi.

Fuck MONDAY

The deaths of certain people.

I write and speak the word please quite a lot. In all of my emails when requesting things for work or pleasure I use it. I was raised in the US South and I think it’s very common practice here to teach kids in such a way. My own kids are being taught the same. I can’t obviously speak for the rest of Western society though.

Me in the 90s as a kid. My uncle had a Mac. One button on the mouse. I’m like wtf is this? Two buttons too complicated? Never looked back.

It’s as if you’ve read my mind.

Bourbon and Coca-Cola Classic w/ice Sometimes a double.

Why: I want a cocktail that can get me drunk quickly. The coke is sweet and masks the disgusting alcohol flavour.

That’s awesome. Have a great time!

Stores are becoming less relevant by the day.

I’m excited to find out!

I believe you’ve actually found someone worse than Trump.

For many years I’ve wanted to see that. It would be absolutely unstoppable.

Maytag dishwasher and gas dryer. Maytag had always purported themselves to be a top brand. However, both of these products would not last more than 4 years. I should have bought the Bosch dishwasher like consumer reports told me.

Sounds like my wife.

Why must you be so wrong?

You’ll get spiders in your coochie!

I cheated on her. It was a moment of complete stupidity that I instantly regretted. 2004 was a rough year.

Just like any other asshole who gets mad about this. It isn’t a uniquely American attitude.

My wife and I happened to meet because each of us had a mutual friend that by chance brought us together. It all happened randomly. I say this because it was through friendships that we met. I never would have spoken to her if not for two completely unrelated friends bringing us to an event.

You gotta find yourself having fun with friends before you find a partner. I would wager that is a healthy way to go about things. Just get out and talk to some friends.