I almost feel like I’m being contrarian by asking this, though it isn’t my intent: your alternatives sound great at first blush, but how do you intend that those alternatives are enforced? Does that lead into your estimated >1% of offenders?

I like “infintiny” as a replacement for “infinitesimal”

If trees aren’t real, how can our birds be real?

…I am so sorry

The birthday problem fits into this somehow, but I can’t quite get there right now. Something like an inverse birthday problem to illustrate how, even though the probability of two monkeys typing the same letter rises quickly as more monkeys are added to the mix, and at a certain point (n+1, where n is “possible keystrokes”) it is inevitable that at least two monkeys will key identically, the inverse isn’t true.

If you have 732 people in a room, there’s no guarantee that any one of them was born on August 12th.

There’s another one that describes this better but it escapes me.

We’re gonna need a bigger sedan…

Is that supposed to be the strange insult?

Damn, did I touch a nerve?

Sounds like a case of the crayon-eater calling the mouth-breather stupid…

Don’t talk about fight club?

DON’T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB?

Buffalo buffalo buffalo homo Homo sapiens sapiens?

So when Lord Carnarvon sent Howard Carter into the Valley of the Kings with his team…

…that was the Invasion of the Body Snatchers?

You’d need to limit the capacity to vote on credibility to people who are members of the community. If you haven’t joined, you can’t make a judgment about what is or isn’t a good faith post, but your own post can be voted by members. Rather than being attached to just the user, it would probably be better if it were referenced to the user per community. Even so, it’s essentially karma, and could probably be gamed.

Otherwise, you’ve just reinvented upvotes.

Do you often look out your window and see everything you dream about and wish you had?

Which one of your .ml buddies got banned from a community or instance, why did it inspire you to post such a contrived “question” in this community, and how clever did you convince yourself that your little pet hypothetical was when you hit “send?”

True, much like memes are pretty famously fabricated.

But did you know
That when it snows
My eyes become violet
And light that you shine
Can be seen?

I agree with all you’ve said, and I tend to add both systems when expressing a meaningful measurement. My statement is pointed more towards situations where someone hasn’t done so and it throws some poor soul into a meltdown.

Counterpoint: there is no continent named “America.” “North American,” “South American,” and even “Central American,” or “Latin American,” for added specificity, are completely sufficient demonyms for the denizens of the continents (and subreigon) writ large.

Regarding weights and measures:

I don’t think in metric, and there’s a strong possibility that I never will. I came of age in an educational system that taught metric units alongside imperial, but also in a day-to-day world that heavily skews towards imperial units.

If I see metric units that I can’t immediately interpret in my head, it’s absolutely trivial for me to get the conversion by other means. It’s equally as trivial for someone who uses metric to make the opposite conversion.

Anyone losing their shit about it is acting performatively.

I agree with your list, but I also have to point out the irony of throwing in a “for the 'muricans” in reference to an American multinational company.