I read an interview with a zoologist which described cats as evolutionarily perfect. Their dna really only varies primarily for size. All cats all over the world have survived with no need to seriously adapt to their environment.

The education system did not fail me. I failed my education.

The jews control Israel.

I have one and used it for a long time but the fact is it just can’t generate as much carbonation as drinks you buy commercially.

My first thought is that the tides would disappear. I’m sure that would fuck up things somehow.

Ok, that’s absolutely bonkers

Pee Wee

Blues Brothers but mostly because I really liked it. It helped that it was full of great musical performances.

Nobody has mentioned Kyrgyzstan yet

To my knowledge, Jamaica’s is the only national flag to not contain red, white or blue.

Yeah! Teriyaki would work great if you like it sweeter.

No because it’s not really within my budget.

Sure am excited about my new light bulbs though.

Fuck yeah, grilled alongside the patty, maybe a soy sauce glaze.

Fuck that abomination you described though.

Having John Landis write the story didn’t hurt.

Bartender. I don’t get a lunch break so I just drink on the clock.

Those first two are great but that Shoenberg piece… Man, some things are best left on paper.

Oh man, you weren’t kidding. That’s just objectively bad.

I think you found the solution for world peace.

Fake.

Rudie can’t whale.