Oh yeah? Then why am I always angry at everyone all the time?!

Boom. Scienced!

\s

It’s really easy to tell the difference. The jellyfish is the one that hurts you immediately when you try to swallow it and the plastic bag is the one that causes problems in 1.5-3 minutes with catastrophic problems around 10 minutes.

Are you suggesting that we should burn down companies and factories? Cuz I’d never agree to meet you at a specific time and place so that we could disassemble the means of production and effectively delete entire toxic cogs of the economy.

In fact, tell me precisely where and when you plan on meeting so that I can definitely avoid you.

Couldn’t beer further from the truth. Son, I am not disappoint

No worries. I’ve never been more proud of you

Only one, but he’s considering eating a second one for an afternoon snack

I saw Frakes at ACCC a few years ago, that was pretty cool to attend his talk. Billy Zane was my favorite, though. As for LeVar, dude seems so cool, he’d probably sit and sing with you.

Worst experience I’ve had at a con: excitedly meeting Jaimie Kennedy (I was literally the only person to walk his queue) and finding out that he’s a mega-asshole. Also smells like an asshole. I threw away his autograph in front of him and told him that he lost his only fan at the entire con.

HOLY SHIT, FUCK YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU’VE EVER CARED ABOUT!

I wanted to go to Space Con and decided that it was simply too expensive, especially just a couple of weeks after going to see Rocky Horror Picture Show live. I hope it’s amazing and that the entire guest list actually shows up. A few years ago, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Rick Moranis showed up for their first cons and everyone assumed that Alamo City Comic Con was just pulling our leg, so I wouldn’t totally discount your favorite celebrities being there.

And I’m up late cuz it’s the weekend and I gotta find some way to fuck myself over. Might as well be fucking up my sleep cycle.

The Freeman Coliseum isn’t way too far from me, so DM me if you wanna meet up and mutually murder each other or say hi or something.

What’s that in freedom units?

Shit, I voted for you! I’ve handed out pamphlets that say “TexasDrunk: stealing daddies since 1997 and playing triangle in a punk folk cover band tomorrow.” I’ve offered to fart in a lot of pots and it’s been pretty unpopular so far…

Someone take @bigFab@lemmy.world’s car keys, they’re obviously drunk

@TexasDrunk@lemmy.world, please hand out the “TheFartographer has bad Ideas” pamphlets

Gender gas. I’m gender gas. Final answer, Regis.

Regis? Someone call a doctor!

The gender triple point, aka gender superposition, is where a gender can be calculated and estimated, but not observed. Attempting to observe the gender changes it to a different state.

In layman’s terms, this is also called “mind your own fucking business, your obsession with my genitals is fucking weird and creepy.”

“What was Windows even doing for us?”

Providing minimal malware protection while being actual malware?

Check it out, I’m a masshole! *toot*

Tried it, didn’t like it. Guess when my wife says she doesn’t want kids, I’ll just have to listen to her lest she rail me up the ass. Beauty be damned.

Cut it into quarters from base to tip and prepare a smoking-hot griddle or skillet, sprinkle coarse sea salt in the layers. Put a little high heat cooking oil on whatever cooking utensil you’re using and sear up both of the cut sides of each quarter. Once the first side starts to brown, flip to the second side. When the second side browns, pour some 5% vinegar on the cabbage and caramelize both cut sides. Slice up and enjoy one of the cheapest, easiest meals you’ll ever make.

A. Username checks out
B. I can help you figure out your purpose serving men! But before you can walk, you must crawl. First, you’re going to learn how to hunt men. Then how to cook men. Once you’ve mastered these two, you will spend months or years learning how to plate men. Finally, serving men. Then you’ll be ready to start your own menstaurant.

We can’t possibly be that old! I feel you’ve made a grave mistake

Is it a jar of jam or jelly?