Please don’t ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.

  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.

  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).

  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.

  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

  • Xilly@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    1 year ago

    I wonder if doing a colon cleanse beforehand help? Similar to what people do before a colonoscopy.

    Also, it is an odd request but I’m now fully vested in your post to see what others suggest.

    • Caboose@lemmy.mlEnglish
      0·
      1 year ago

      My thoughts as well.

      238 g of Miralax mixed into 2 L of flavored sports drink. Drink all of it over the course of 24 hours at least 24 hours before the event.

      Then immodium 2 mg twice daily to maintain a poop free existence.

      Warning: this WILL work but also runs the risk of damaging your GI tract of maintained for too long.

      • zelifcam@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        1 year ago

        There you go. Give the kid who doesn’t understand the basics of the human body advice on how to colon cleanse a day before the trip. I’m sure it will turn out just fine.