I’ve realized I’m a very atypical person: talking to coworkers in my age range today I realized they have a better financial situation than mine: they are married, some with children, own their own condos, houses, or are paying a mortgage, but can still live a normal life, own a car, some even have the luxury of not having to work 40 hours a week, but 32 because they don’t need to work more, house already paid, family and life objectives achieved.
Me: I’m 43, I don’t own but rent, meaning I pay for something I’m never going to own. The last 2 years I’ve been saving like crazy because I’m afraid of not having enough money for retirement, and because in my past I did so much stupid shit, meaning I wasted so many years not doing anything of use.
I have around 100K in the bank, I know I should invest but I’m also scared of losing that money and I don’t know if I should use that money as a down payment for a house.
My father owns 3 houses and I envy him. I’ve been thinking about asking him to sell one of the houses and give me the proceeds so I can buy my own place because some of my coworkers did that and could finance their own home. When my father went to study to another state my grandfather bought him a house there so he wouldn’t have to rent. When he moved back to home state he sold and invested the money to buy a new house there. He had way easier than me. It’s not fair. I feel… unloved?
I guess this makes me an entitled ass but I feel so… lost?
To summarize, I feel like a loser because I’m old, I’m behind most of my coworkers my age, I’m a very individualistic person but this means I’m going to die alone, but sometimes I feel alone and scared of being old and alone. I don’t own anything of value to my name, it’s like I’m an old teenager.
You are doing very well. I got married at 42. It’s the only time I’ve been married and was the worst mistake I’ve ever made. I love my spouse very much, but it was still a very big mistake. Don’t envy those people. Being lonely is still easier, and kids suck. Go get married and see how fast you save money then. You’ll be fucked.
I love my spouse very much, but it was still a very big mistake.
You’ve piqued my curiosity lol. What about marriage specifically was a mistake when you love your spouse? Taxes?
Just being drove in the ground. Adult child that causes severe issues. Being over committed as an introvert. Relocated and now can’t leave a place I hate because I’m so exhausted from problems. Too much noise and can’t sleep. Can’t sell house we bought for reason that is no longer valid because market sucks. There is some stupid occasion or celebration all the time. Can’t have staycation because it’s not relaxing. Money going out the window constantly.
Oh…I’m sorry things have been rough. I don’t think any of that is because of marriage? You sound burnt out, I hope things ease up sooner rather than later for you.
Thanks for the comment. I was thinking that maybe I need to manage burnout and it’s interesting someone else thought that might be the case.
Your father shouldn’t give you free money, specially if he needs it himself. Perhaps you will inherit it later.
And if he owns three houses, he worked for those. Everyone who owns their houses took a loan, then worked to pay that off eventually, over decades of work.
Its a bit weird to see that you feel like your father should sell a house and give you the money…
Your colleagues also worked and paid off their houses over years. Of course it helps to be two people since it cuts all costs in half.
everyone who owns their houses took a loan, then worked
my grandfather bought him a house
mhm.
While I don’t think his father owes him a house I also don’t think it’s at all rude to ask if he’d be willing to help him get one.
Ok. I think its weird. He doesn’t ask for help - he asks the father for money to buy a house. Money the dad needs in his own life.
Its not enough that the father supported him his entire childhood? Now he wants money for a frigging house?
The grandfather bought his father a house. Just, bought him a house because he studied out of state and didnt want him to rent.
Then his father lets his kid rent, when he owns three homes.
okay.
Who needs three houses?
We know nothing about someone’s situation. If his father put all his savings into real estate instead of a retirement account, maybe he needs it to cover the living expenses. And we know almost nothing about their relationships.
It’s easy to tell someone what should they do… If it would be me and my son, I’d probably swapped one of the houses to get him a condo to live in. Charge him fair rent, or maybe not, but at least he wouldn’t be at mercy of some random landlord. Sense of stability is empowering.
I would be so ashamed if I was thinking like you here. Like my dad should just give me stuff because he has more then I think he needs.
Isn’t this the definition of a narcissist?
And I would be ashamed if I was thinking like you. Welcome the the world.
You are doing better than most with 100k in the bank. I wouldn’t sweat it much.
