When I lie, it’s most often a lie of omission. Are you more of a falsehood teller? Or do you lie out of ignorance? Or is there a particular subject you’re likely to lie about? Or a person who you tell most of your lies to?
Do you always tell the truth? If yes what type of lie was that?
I don’t lie to anyone except my employer. They are not owed any explanation or insight into my personal life, and personally I feel that that is the only acceptable instance for me to lie at this point in my life.
Circumstances change, but I generally try and lie as little as possible.
Not always a lie (though when it is truth it’s mostly in a technically-the-truth way), but I like to fuck with my friends by sharing media and misleading them into thinking things will happen a certain way so they don’t see the plot twists coming. Kind of like reverse-spoiling them.
And if you’re thinking “there’s no way they’d believe you after the first couple of times” - it’s when they stop believing me that the fun starts.
Throwing in pieces of truth, reverse psychology, lies by omission, alluding to something that A. doesn’t happen but B. is so out there that they start wondering “but maybe…”. I also have honed my control over my facial expressions from my years on customer service so that I can feign confusion or incredulity perfectly on the occasion that they make a correct prediction.
The friend I primarily do this with is pretty gullible and gets very emotionally invested in stories (that’s how I ended up starting with this), but I’ve been working my way up with less gullible friends to hone my bullshittery to greater heights, and the results have been greatly satisfying.
Great fun, 10/10, highly recommend if you and your friends like plot-twisty media.
I’m good, how are you?
“They’re not in the office right now, can I put you to their voicemail?”
"I am a happy and engaged employee "
I hope this email finds you well.
Oh, man. Email is a real bitch. The context for me when I say this is the shipping industry and/or the software developers for shipping software.
If you ask more than one question, take your pick, just one will be answered. “Please see below?” You’re going to get asked a question that could’ve been answered by “please see below.” These dumbfucks will go out of their way to make anything as grating as possible. Send an attachment? “Oh my ancient-ass Outlook Express is too fucked up to show me that.” S/MIME? “Can’t read your email!” JSON? “What’s that, we run a cobbled SOAP someone wrote back in 1999.”
People can’t figure out threading if it were to save their life. Add in a bunch of douchebag hotshots between separate threads, discuss four different accounts between three threads, why not? Apparently email is a complicated brand new technology that office workers have yet to master but sure let’s conduct all of our business on it forsomefucking reason.
Fuck
I actually lied for the first time in about 3 years just few days ago.
I had an appointment and at the front desk the clerk asked me wether I came there by car (do I need a parking permit) to which I said no even though I did but I left it further away so that I don’t need said permit. Funnily enough the person I came to meet then asked me the same thing to which I sad “Yeah, but I left it further away” and I’m quite sure the clerk heard me so… …yeah. That’s why I don’t lie.
The previous lie before that when a beggar came asking wether I had any cash to which I said no even though I did. Again a completely pointless lie.
“I’m fine.”
At work, I oversimplify things to the point that they’re no longer strictly true all the time.
- To get out of being in trouble with my SO.
- “White lies” to clients I work for simply because they wouldn’t understand a longer explanation, they ha e cognitive impairment so it’s better to simplify.
Lie I tell most often: “I’m fine.”
It is easier to do, and easier on the conscience to lie by omission, so that’s the kind of lie I do most often, which is mostly to smooth things over in social situations.
Rather than telling the truth, which would require me to talk about my mental health and current state, and face possible stigma, I’d rather just lie about being fine.
Most common lies I tell are usually just to stop people focussing on a certain part of a story or anecdote. They’re technically lies but aren’t relevant.
Lets say i’m talking about my weekend to a friend or colleauge. I mention that on friday night in a certain bar or location something happened. Well if I know that person is going to pick up on the location eg: “Why were you there”.
I don’t really care they know I just cba with my story being picked apart for something that’s not really that relevant, I was just setting the scene.
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I lie to my kids constantly. Don’t even feel bad about it, it’s a requirement for peace in the world.
“Thank you for shopping here.”
Like seriously there’s like one grocery store in this entire small-ass town and this is it. Not like you were doing me a big favor.
I also just don’t give a shit if you shop elsewhere. Whether you shop here or elsewhere won’t change my less-than-living-wage paycheck, thank you very much.
