This is a mix of being burnt out, awaiting the inevitable firing and don’t giving much fucks about it. I’ll miss the money, though, but it’s not enough to keep me here. Money is the only reason why I still clock in.
I’m realizing I’ve always been a pushover, the one that kept shut to keep the peace, meaning I was always the one being exploited, while the ones friends with the manager got away doing way less, being accused of not being a team player for not jumping to do what they wanted me to do while they sit on their asses.
I work at a hospital where people love to dump chores on the ones who cannot establish boundaries. Another thing to consider is, there are no clear job descriptions where I work at, a clever management strategy to keep the workforce ignorant of their rights and exploited. As a matter of fact I only got something resembling a job description after contacting a member of the union and even then management tried dumping more duties on me. They cannot control themselves.
My new me is going to work to my job description and reject anything not listed there. What I think is gonna happen is: everyone who felt entitled to exploit me is going to turn the verbal abuse way up, but I mostly work with women, so yelling back is going to be considered abuse (sigh…). Another option would be, as soon as they start yelling, leaving the room, going to my union and refusing to go back to work until a union rep comes with me to talk to the ones abusing me to simply ignore them when they start yelling and going to my union and risk them accusing me of abandoning my job or some shit like that.
Covering my ass for any stupid, petty accusation means lots of documentation and I only want a job, not having to spend my free time documenting what happened only for it to be ignored by management because our hospital is systematically understaffed and no wonder why.
I assume they are going to use my new boundaries as an excuse to try to fire me and to make my life unbearable for as long as I don’t quit, which opens my door to calling in sick for mobbing. I don’t know if half assing it would be a better idea. And changing hospitals? It’s going to be the same shit everywhere.
Today was my free day. I spent it with back pain, cooking, eating and sleeping because I was so tired. Not how I want to spend every weekend.
Stay chill and friendly when doing it all, no matter how hard that is.
No bullshit, you can present almost anything with a smile and a casual shrug and get away with it as long you stay polite in your wording. Very often, throwing in a “you know how it is” and giving it that tone of commiseration keeps things smooth even if you’re essentially telling the person to fuck off.
Since you’re in hospital setting, you can sometimes throw in “that’s out of scope” and at least befuddle whoever it is.
And, smile a lot. But not one of those rictus smiles, or smug ones. Think inwardly of your coming escape and hold tight to the relief, and just radiate that glow. Takes serious prep mentally to stay in he right frame of mind for it, but that jolly bastard will make it so much harder for people to ramp up their aggression.
It always helped me to remember that anyone getting all bothered and upset in that situation has a much sadder life than me. It let me reframe a given interaction to a different dynamic.
Smiling is really good advice. I always imagine the yelling party to be someone like a child or someone who really can’t control themself. Makes it much easier to stay calm because I can’t be really mad at someone I pity so much.