Awesome that you have a job. If you like cooking, I highly recommend getting as much knowledge from free platforms like YouTube, there are a lot of great and passionate creators to learn from, and their enthusiasm is infectious. Watch videos, try to pay attention to techniques more than the recipes themselves. Keep an open mind and jump at opportunities when you see them.

I believe in you!

I’m looking for evidence that this post is real. It is too perfect, like the stuff chatgpt produces. But I’m old and very cynical.

One alternative is her low IQ diagnosis was off. I suggest seeing someone to have that rechecked. If it turned out to be closer to the average 100 it could make her feel more positive about her own potential.

When I was that school during my last year and a half my English teacher finally let me use my phone in English. I was able to check spellings and and find words if I was struggling. It helped a lot. As for the donation theory. I didn’t include any payment offer so that wouldn’t work but know that I think of it I wouldn’t be against it. Lol

I dunno if all ADHD is exactly like yours, but I doubt it. Your version sounds pretty hellish, to put it lightly.

Good info though, thanks for deeming us worthy of your time (not sarcastically) and sharing your experience. Pretty eye opening for us neurotypicals.

Oh wait that’s an ADHD symptom? I’m considering going nomadic atm maybe that makes it bearable.

I didn’t see that page either

https://join-lemmy.org/

You’re a human and you need someone to validate you. I can’t do that from a keyboard, but I can offer an internet hug.

And he also is overwhelmed by needing to do things in life but not knowing where to start.

TL;DR: Skip to the last paragraph.

So, I studied psychology in university and this is to the best of my knowledge.

IQ is basically scientifically outdated and based in racism and classism. The guy who popularized IQ testing in the US, Lewis Terman, was a horrible racist who loved using it to prove White people were superior to black people. There are much newer theories of intelligence that view it more as a domain-based thing (e.g. someone might not be musically intelligent, but they might be mathematically intelligent and so on).

There are also different ways your score could’ve been thrown off, too, especially if your ADHD is relatively severe. Unless you have some sort of developmental disability like Down syndrome, it’s actually pretty likely your IQ is roughly the same as your siblings’.

Honestly, the real issue here is the ADHD. Take it from someone who also has it: if left unchecked, it can be a life-ruiner. I was a B and C student and had no clue why until I was almost 23 and finally got diagnosed. I got into university, but it was only after spending 4 years in community college. The guy who diagnosed me said that he doesn’t know how I actually managed to do it. He said it was like I had been trying to swim with cement blocks tied to my feet.

Forget intelligence for a second. You are very obviously an capable person. You worked hard in school, you have a good command of the English language, and you’re holding down a job in fast food (a field that sent me to tears multiple times, mind you). Your problem is that you’ve had a very rough life with little support. Prioritize kicking your addictions (maybe try and find a recovery group). See a therapist to talk through your father’s abuse. See a psychiatrist to talk about medication for ADHD (non-narcotic, of course). You deserve to be satisfied with your life, and I believe you can get there.

IQ is an attempt to represent a persons problem solving abilities with a single number. This is bullshit, because intelligence isn’t that simple. There’s different kinds of intelligence. Some people are better at some kinds of intelligence, while others have their strenghts in other areas.

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

I understand how frustrating that must be. It sucks to have people tell you all of your life that you can’t do certain things because of your intelligence and then have someone tell you it’s “not real”.

I think most people who say this (including the person you’re replying to) are trying to reassure you, not dismiss you. The origins of IQ are arguably racist/classist and the science behind it is disputed by many. I was told all my life that i had an above average IQ, but i never understood why. I didn’t feel smarter than my classmates and I did poorly in school. I later learned that I did well on the IQ test because of my economic background and the resources that I had available to me from a young age.

Intelligence is such a broad concept that we frankly don’t fully understand yet. So the fact that we measure peoples intelligence and worth over a number is bullshit and dystopian. This is where the split in your experience comes from. You feel the effects of a low IQ because society values it too much. But most people know it’s a metric that’s used as a cudgel against others.

In other words, I very much believe that you are treated differently and have fewer opportunities as a result of your IQ, but that’s an indictment of our society; not you. On top of it all, it sounds like you didn’t have the support network that other people have. Verbal and physical abuse from the people who should be our guardians and champions (your father) will stomp the spirit out of anyone.

I know it might not be comforting, but I read your post and you didn’t seem unintelligent to me. Sure, your sentence structure might be different than mine, but you seem like a thoughtful and connected person. What I’m missing, most likely, is the effort, time and energy that it may have taken you to write your original post, which i dont want to discount. But you’re able to get your thoughts and feelings across just fine, at least in the form of writing.

Alright, enough with the pep-talk. Do you have any interests or things you like to spend time with? Video games? Animals? Exercise? Drawing? Writing? Makeup? Anime? Cooking? It doesn’t matter if you think you’re bad at them – I’d recommend pursuing those interests. Sometimes volunteer work opens up opportunities that you haven’t considered. It can also help you create that social safety net that I was talking about earlier.

I would try to get a job that gets you by (I know, easier said than done). Something like janitor work, fast food, retail, or hotel service. It doesn’t have to be permanent, but just something to keep a cashflow while you give yourself time and room to grow. I’m not sure where your located, but I would check for non-profits or local orgs that offer assistance to folks.

Don’t let our psychotic and unhealthy society dictate your worth. You are a human being who has thoughts and feelings. Your ability to hold a job or quuckly solve a problem is relatively superficial.

IQ only measures how good you are at taking IQ tests. They recalibrate score every year to maintain the same distribution of scores within a year. (they change what each question is worth so every year 50% of tests get above 100, 40% of tests are between 85 and 100, 40% of tests are between 100 and 115, etc.)

The impact is that they have to make the tests harder every year. If you applied modern standards to 1920, the average score would be ~70.

What makes more sense to you, that 8/10 people today would be considered near-geniuses 100 years ago, or we got much better at taking IQ tests?

IQ does not define your destiny.

I don’t know what my IQ is. Nor do I care what it is.

You sound smart enough to ask for advice. I don’t think your IQ is as low. Let’s go through some steps. You can type, read, write, use the Internet, figure out how to get on the fedi, realize you have an issue, and you asked for advice. That’s more than 99% of people can do. My parents couldn’t do what you did.

I was once told a story about an IT worker. They got called by a doctor about their mouse not working. The IT person tries to troubleshoot the issue with no luck. They go over to the Doctor’s work station. The Doctor is trash talking them. The IT guy looks at the computer and realizes the issue instantly. The mouse is upside down. (This is a true story)

We are all smart in our own ways. We all have talents and gifts. What can you do well? And if you don’t know that answer; ask your friends. Take inventory of yourself.

IQ only means something within a small subset of the establishment. It’s a made up thing that is highly biased towards white European men. Yes, the system will hold you back if they determine you to have a low IQ, but for thousands of years people of all intelligences successfully lived in societies with others.

You have to give up the belief that the system is the sum total of reality. It’s the reason you wonder if your life is over at 23 - because the system is narrow and myopic and only has a little space in it and everyone else is pushed out. But the system isn’t even half of real life, and when you find the rest of life by giving up on the system you’ll find your life is just beginning.

Carl Jung even said that life doesn’t start until 40 - everything before that is just research.

Speaking for myself as someone who was dismissive, my best contribution to the answers here is that it’s reductionist to a seriously misleading extent. It seems like you have a couple of conditions contributing to your struggle, but it all gets reduced to “your number is too low.” As others have alluded to, how much of that is your adhd? How much is from some condition you may have that hasn’t been diagnosed because you have been unsupported throughout your life? I don’t think anyone is denying that you have real neurological conditions that hinder you, they just doubt low IQ as being a meaningful description of what you’re facing compared to something that gives a better causal explanation.

Yeah, it totally does mean something. But you shouldn’t let that knowledge keep you in a box. You really have to find out what you’re good at and give yourself to that.

Well, you’re both right. IQ means something, but it’s only a predictor for outcomes. Many high-IQ people have led very mediocre lives and many low-IQ people have had very successful lives. Certainly, a high IQ can make life easier for you, as can being born in a prosperous country, having a wealthy family, knowing the right people, or getting lucky. The other half of that equation is hard work.

From what you’ve said, you don’t have good family connections, high IQ or know the right people. You haven’t said where you live. There may be resources there to help you, or not. Either way, accessing those resources or getting ahead without them will be hard work. If you decide to go down that path, there will be pretty menial jobs, long hours, and not much money. There will be a lot of hard work in your down time to see what you can do to improve your abilities so you can improve your prospects in the future. Likely you will find none of this fun. There’s no guarantee it will succeed. But, like with many people, those are typically the only options before you to get someplace better.

Disclaimer: I’m not a social worker or other mental health professional or anything in any way related to those.

I’m a bit over twice your age though, so I’m speaking based on my experience in life.

There’s a lot of things I wanted to do. I wanted to be a nurse, I wanted to go to university/college, I wanted be a programmer ect ect but I just couldn’t.

All those occupations you listed require very specific types of intelligence. I fully agree with the poster above who said that there are many different types of intelligence. To expand on that a little, someone may be the best car mechanic or cook in town but be a terrible programmer or nurse. And vice-versa, a great programmer may be a terrible nurse, mechanic, cook, etc. The idea that IQ is anywhere near a full measure of someone’s abilities is truly, completely wrong.

Don’t let the fact that you “couldn’t” do those things stop you from trying a myriad of other occupations where you may be successful and find fulfillment. If you believe that you can only be successful or fulfilled by being good at one of the latest occupations trending in media, please don’t. Someone can be successful and fulfilled doing pretty much just about anything. Some examples: building trades, mechanic, driver, janitor, cashier, cook, bartender, hairdresser, anything. FYI, I’ve heard that in France, people in any occupation demand and get the respect they deserve for being experts in whatever occupation they chose for themselves. Just as an example, my hairdresser told me an amusing story of arriving in Paris and stopping at a fruit stall where she promptly started to squeeze the fruit like we do in the US. The fruit stall minder literally smacked the fruit out of her hand and selected the fruit for her. He was the expert in fruit and she had no business picking the fruit herself.

It sounds like your main issues probably stem from your father’s neglect and abuse and perhaps your ADHD and other learning disabilities, not from your IQ. You would do well to address your drug addiction first with whatever treatment options are available to you (this would also impact your IQ test scores, but do yourself a favor and forget about IQ). After that, or maybe at the same time, if you didn’t graduate high school, work towards getting your GED. After that, enroll in community college and take whatever variation of “succeeding in college” (study skills) and “career exploration” classes they offer as your very first classes. After that, many options should present themselves to you in community college. Focus on the careers that you can do with either only a high school / GED diploma, or that plus trade school or community college. Many community colleges also provide mental health counseling and assistance finding jobs. Take advantage of any opportunity you encounter.

I, like apparently many others here, believe in you! The answer to your question is yes, there is hope for you!

I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD but not with anxiety. I’ve never been diagnosed with depression tho.

I’ve got ADHD too, and I can see some similarities in how my struggles in school (influenced by ADHD behavior) led to constant anxiety, frequent depressive episodes, and overall poor self-esteem. It’s pretty darn common for people with ADHD to have these kinds of issues because they’re often told it’s all their fault, when in actuality their community failed to give them the support they needed.

There’s a lot of things I wanted to do. I wanted to be a nurse, I wanted to go to university/college, I wanted be a programmer ect ect but I just couldn’t.

First off, it’s really good that you have ideas of what you want to do, that’s half the battle. The other thing is that these things can be achieved, they’ll just take time. Just because you didn’t do X thing before X time doesn’t mean you’re shut off from that forever, especially with things like getting a job you care about or going to uni. Those things can be built up to. Exactly how that will happen depends on your circumstances, but I know lots of people who worked a job they cared less about to support getting certifications or education, so it absolutely can be done. Having those aspirations is step one, so you’re already in a position to keep going that direction. The big thing is to remember you’ve got blind spots and you don’t know all your options, so doing research and asking help will help you get there.

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