• Jarix@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    edit-2
    1 day ago

    Probabky the last night i spent at my father’s.

    I had an ear infection that weekend. Ended up having a nose bleed. Apparently i got blood on his GFs babies crib.

    I got beat with a hair brush by his gf. He did nothing about all.

    Eldest brother screamed bloody murder to get my mom to come pick up me and my 3 brothers while bro had us wait at the bottom of the stairs. Must have been winter because it was dark and i remember wearing a heavy jacket

  • Dizzy Devil Ducky@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    edit-2
    1 day ago

    Well, I know that I definitely have normal parents after reading some posts. Worst would be things like spankings or maybe getting yelled at when I was older. Or the time my mom wanted to beat my ass with a marble rolling pin for how much of an asshole teenager I was being. Did get beat once with a plastic broom, but considering no harm came out of it, I’d say I was a lucky person.

    Edit:

    It was supposed to be a punishment, but it failed miserably since I didn’t learn anything, nor had any bad consequences come of it, but I did once have my bedroom door removed for a reason I don’t remember. Just set up a blanket as a makeshift door.

  • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    1 day ago

    My mother has BPD and is pretty vicious, but I think the worst moment was when she told me it was my fault my brother is gay. She HATES the fact he is gay despite really not hating gay people at all and we were raised to love and accept them, and since she hates me she thinks it’s my fault. BPD leads to a lot of disordered thinking.

    • hitmyspot@aussie.zone
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 day ago

      You can have gay kids and still grieve for the life you expected them to have. That doesn’t mean you dont love them. What matters is you support who they actually are, not who you thought they would be. But sprinkle in some disordered thinking and I can see how that could go awry.

  • PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    22
    ·
    edit-2
    2 days ago

    On my 18th birthday I wanted to go out and spend the day with friends. My parents said they didn’t want me to and they wanted me to stay home. I said I was 18 and an adult and I wanted to spend my birthday out with my friends.

    I leave and enjoy a few hours until I get a phone call from my dad. He says “Come home immediately, there’s been a huge accident with mom and your youngest brother. We need you home ASAP”.

    I rush home in a panic, spent an hour on the way home preparing myself for the possibility that half my family had died.

    Only to find out that he had “played a joke on me” to get me to come home as a power move. No accident. No ambulance, no injuries.

    “You think you’re an adult but I will ALWAYS be in charge of you” was what he said.

    I’m 30 now and haven’t spoken to him in over a decade. I don’t think much about him since he’s pathetic, but when I do, I imagine that he’s rotting alone and unable to manipulate other peoples physchology and emotions 🙂

  • SilentStorms@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    2 days ago

    My dad faked having brain cancer when I was 9 to cover up a drug problem. He sent me to live with my mom to party while I believed he was on the brink of death.

    We have a strained relationship now.

  • FeelThePower@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    23
    ·
    edit-2
    2 days ago

    Kicked me out after high school. I ended up homeless for months. That was years ago, but the psychological damage never goes away. To this day I don’t spend money on furniture because I’m too scared I’ll lose everything again somehow. Even my computers have to be laptops forever now because I feel like if I get a desktop I’ll be fucked into losing it if I end up homeless again.

    • ComradeSharkfucker@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      2 hours ago

      Its fucked up that it is normalized to kick your kid out in the west, no one deserves to go through this and I cannot imagine being that heartless

  • inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    18
    ·
    edit-2
    2 days ago

    When I was 15 or so my dad made a fake AIM address and posed as a girl from my school so he could encourage me to masturbate with the child porn he was sending me. When i got freaked out and stopped responding he called my phone and said that “the girl from school” was bothering him at work and I needed to keep talking with *her". I didn’t figure out that it was him until a decade later later. I remember panicking all night about what I knew was illegal images, so I told him what happened and he just mocked me for not knowing how to do an ip trace to see who it was.

    Dad was a real piece of shit. But that was the worst thing he did to me personally.

      • inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        11
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        edit-2
        2 days ago

        Nope. It wasn’t until after he died that I went to therapy and started talking about the memory before putting it all together. Dad worked in IT security so I don’t doubt he was careful.

        The closest that he came to consequences that I know about, is when the FBI came to his house to interview me. My parents were divorced and I spent 50/50 with each parent. My mother’s boyfriend was being accused of seeding a torrent filled with CP, and the FBI came to ask me if I knew anything. This was around the time of the AIM incident. Dad wasn’t home and was pretty upset that I let them inside.

        Anyways, it took nearly a decade and countless dollars in lawyer fees for the case against my (by then) step-dad to be dropped. The FBI can led the court date after we uncovered hard proof that he wasn’t even home that day, but it had already cost him his career. Unlike my Dad, my step dad wasn’t a tech person, like at all. So while I don’t have any proof or idea how, I’m fairly certain that somehow my dad got access to his laptop to frame him.

        Which is why I said that the AIM thing is only the worst thing he did to me. Another runner up would be the statutory rape of my mom when she was 14 and he was 20 that led to my birth. Unfortunately, the theme of child exploitation runs through many chapters in my Dad’s angry miserable life.

  • Crozekiel@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    31
    ·
    3 days ago

    When my brother and I were both in university, we lived in cities about an hour apart. We grew up about another hour away, so to visit my brother my dad had to drive through the city I lived in, passed the campus for my university, to get to the city my brother lived in. You could literally see the buildings on campus from the interstate through the city.

    He would call me about once a month to tell me about the awesome weekend he just had visiting my brother and seeing one of their school football games. He would rave about how much fun it was and always say “you should come down too next time”. I would always tell him I probably would if he would tell me about it before the trip instead of after…

    I started to resent my brother being the “obvious favorite”. For years we barely spoke. We reconnected like a decade later when we happened to live in the same city. One night around a few beers, we started hashing out old shit, and I brought up him being dad’s favorite and all the trips dad made to visit him.

    That’s when I found out my dad made it all up. Our dad only visited my brother’s campus twice, the day he moved into the dorms and the day he graduated…

      • Crozekiel@lemmy.zip
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        16 hours ago

        I’ve pondered that question a LOT… Did he think it would somehow make me go out of my way to spend time with him out of some sort of primal urge to compete with my brother? Is he a psychopath? Is his brain so fucked he thought it was real?

        Sad part is, I bet he doesn’t even recall doing it, and he was just bored at the time.

    • Transient Punk@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      3 days ago

      Dad - gave mother speed while pregnant with me, then abandoned the family before I was 1, never to be heard from again.

      Mom - committed suicide before I was 10

      Aunt - psychologically and emotionally manipulated/coerced me for ten years

      Uncle - beat the fuck out of me for ten years

      Growing up sure was fun…

  • keepcarrot [she/her]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    2 days ago

    What, uh… what answers were you expecting in here, OP?

    I remember my dad slapping me in the face for pronouncing “water” like an American. A bunch of odds and ends like that.

  • dohpaz42@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    49
    arrow-down
    4
    ·
    3 days ago

    Birthed me. Then they had the audacity to celebrate it each year there after.

    • ramble81@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      16
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      3 days ago

      On the bright side, life is a terminal STD with 100% mortality rate

  • root@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    46
    ·
    3 days ago

    Mom took the door off my room due to her not trusting me? Smoked a lot of weed but never ever in their sight or in the house. All I did was sit on my computer in my room. Absolutely horrible experience.

    She ended up putting the washer and dryer in there with me too…

  • Mothra@mander.xyz
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    36
    ·
    3 days ago

    My mother passive aggressively bullied me regarding potential love interests to the point I was absolutely terrified of even mentioning boys from my class as dealing with her unfounded teasing was unbearable. This didn’t help at all with my romantic relationships, I was always lacking in support in the area as I turned the topic into a taboo during my adolescent years, at home in particular.

    As for my father it’s not much what he did but what he didn’t do. He’s one of the smartest men I’ve ever met, he is good at managing his finances and networking yet he never gave me much support or pushed me to achieve anything in these areas - when he did it was briefly in the form of criticism. Again, this also snowballed into an adulthood problem I’m still grappling with.

    • PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      2 days ago

      That’s horrible and a great way at making sure your child hides their love life and possibly makes impulsive and dangerous decisions.

      My parents pulled out a pack of condoms from my toiletries bag one time I visited for the weekend during university and my dad mocked me for having them.

      • Mothra@mander.xyz
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        2 days ago

        That first paragraph pretty much summarizes my love life, fortunately I’m not one for dangerous but plenty of stupid.

        I’m sorry that happened to you. I know the feeling :(

    • dosse91@lemmy.trippy.pizza
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      17
      ·
      3 days ago

      I’m a guy but I had a very similar experience with my mother basically making it an embarassment to talk or let alone date anyone. I missed out on a lot of things before I realized that what was going on wasn’t normal.

      • Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        17
        ·
        edit-2
        3 days ago

        And then they wonder why you don’t tell them things about your life, like what your hobbies are (if you are even able to enjoy hobbies anymore) or what you’re enjoying.

        • dosse91@lemmy.trippy.pizza
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          1 day ago

          I do have hobbies and enjoy them, but I tend to hide everything from them, even meaningless things.

          What pisses me off mostly is how much I missed out on when I was younger for her stupid ideas, things like “you want a wife from your city”, “but she’s black!” (yes, I’m into black women), “he’s gay, if you go out with him everyone will think you’re gay”, “the trip is too long”, shit like that…

    • SurpriZe@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      arrow-down
      7
      ·
      2 days ago

      Really doesn’t sound bad at all compared to most people out there. Especially without concrete examples.

      • Mothra@mander.xyz
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        7
        ·
        2 days ago

        This isn’t a contest. OP asked what was the worst, and this is it for me. It’s damaging enough for me, and it’s very hard to give concrete examples because it was damage over time. Personality also plays a role; it’s possible that other kids in my shoes wouldn’t have felt this as something too damaging, everyone is different.

        Both my parents have been very supportive and nurturing in almost every other aspect but those I mentioned. I know there are some horrific stories out there, I hope yours isn’t one of them.

  • KingJalopy @lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    29
    ·
    3 days ago

    Mom divorced my abusive alcoholic father and married a man from England. I was 14 but she figured I had the maturity to know it would be ok if I stayed with him instead of moving to England with her and my brother. I was angry at her because I was 14 and dumb. She left me in the US and gave me no end of guilt for making my choice once a grew up a bit and realized I made a mistake. Once she and her husband moved back to Oklahoma I took a position in California and now I’m guilted for that at the age of 42 because she can’t see my daughter whom she never bothered to spend anytime with anyway because of her constant depression about having married another different kind of abusive man.