Looks like my account was banned/restricted for the above interaction, have already sent the mods on world an email asking if they’d be willing to reverse that. Had an episode of psychosis a few months ago where I did say some offensive stuff, (understandably) got a 3 month ban on .lol for that, so could see my account having been flagged.
I uh, I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect people to check others profiles to ensure we are correctly pronouning them… when making a throw away comment that is less than 10 words involving a ludicrously common saying. Jerboa does not show users pronouns. I could switch to an app that DOES show the pronouns, do any Lemmings have a recommendation for a free Lemmy mobile app that has that feature?
Was just going to respond to the user in question to let them know I wasn’t purposefully trying to offend that individual, to discover I’m not able to post or make comments on world now, so figured I’d see what y’alls opinion on the matter is.
I’m probably a bit further to the right than most on the fediverse with this opinion but…
I think, once you have been informed of someone’s pronouns, it’s flat out rude to not use them. I don’t know if it’s a banning issue but that’s for the moderators on your instance to decide or the instance the community is on. Even if you don’t agree with someone’s lifestyle, it’s just polite to address people the way they’d like to be addressed.
But surely there’s a difference between intentional misuse and accidental. I think banning someone for not looking up someone’s pronouns before a public interaction seems like pushing things a bit far here. I certainly am not checking such things. But, then in general when online I will use gender neutral wording because frankly, for online interactions someone’s rarely information that matters for the interaction. I don’t really need to know.
My view is, I think it is almost always clear when someone is being malicious and thus transphobic and when someone makes an honest mistake/did not know better. We, as a whole, really should be differentiating between obviously malicious and non-malicious cases.
I generally just use gender neutral language. I would check the person’s bio before using a phrase like that tho, especially if they have a trans flag emoji in their name
That being said, getting banned/restricted for that comment alone seems a bit extreme to me tho
i would block all those people and move forward with my life
I don’t think it’s necessary to check every profile for potential pitfalls when interacting with them. But honestly, in this case there is an obvious transgender flag in the profile name that should make you at least question your first assumption.
What percentage of the populace do you think knows what the transgender flag looks like? :|
Pronoun police will get ya.
I’ve had people flip out at me on Lemmy for ‘misgendering’ it’s so ridiculous.
Like we don’t know if it’s a man or woman. It’s the internet, yknow?
If somebody corrects you about gender, just say woops, correct yourself, and move on. It’s an honest mistake, a simple fix, and nobody should be offended. Especially online. If they are still offended, it’s because they want to be.
You weren’t misgendering; you were meming. Modifying one part of “the man, the myth, the X” to adapt it to the situation is fine and good, but when you start swapping out too much of it (“the X, the myth, the Y” – or worse, “the X, the Y, the Z”) you lose the reference.
Yeah that’s my thought. It’s an expression. I’ve said things like “c’mon man” to people IRL I know to be women, without complaint. If I was using the word “man” in this kind of way and the person I was saying it to asked me not to, I would of course respect their wishes and stop doing it to them, but I’ve not seen it happen before.
But a third person coming in to whinge when the person I was talking to had no complaint? 🙄
(As a side note, with this specific expression I quite like the alternative of “the ma’am…”. That helps it scan exactly the same as the original phrase.)
You are supposed to do deep research on the person you’re commenting to…
I barely even read usernames, plus Voyager App doesn’t show profile bios, so even if I wanted to check their profile I can’t and I’m sure as fuck not using the mobile website to get the information.
Same. Voyager doesn’t show it, I’ll do my best, but I’m not going to feel bad when I miss
That’s why I just stick with they/them, anyone who gets annoyed about me using that isn’t worth the energy, it’s an anonymous message board, I don’t know you, that’s my purse!
Dumbass here gets it!
Remember kids, moron is a genderless word that can be applied to anyone!
That’s not an excuse nor justification for misgendering anyone, neutral pronouns exist, use them.
If you tell me I will use them, I’m not a mind reader, I’m a dumbass with an internet connection.
Just stop giving a fuck, there’s a metric shitton of crazies doing janny work, it’s unpaid and very unsatisfying. If they ban you, it’s either their instance’s loss or nobody’s. The account costs nothing because it’s worth next to nothing. I don’t even need the links that I myself post and the others’ I can see even if they ban my account. This is a shitpile, it being in the fediverse doesn’t make it less of a shitpile.
I’m pretty apathetic to gender in general but I’ve had gender confirming surgery to be NB which I guess technically makes me trans and to be prefectly honest I’ve never felt more judged for it than by the lemmy LGBTQ+ community. The 50y/o southern man that was my nursing supervisor back when I was a new graduate was more respectful of my gender and lived experiences than these people. Honestly the thing they seem to hate most is specifically me expressing apathy for gender; I’ve mentioned that my transness expresses itself by not caring about the whole pronoun thing or needing to have any specific pronouns for myself personally, but that I understand it’s a matter of respect for others and I’ve literally gotten banned for saying that. Like almost exactly that. They’re absolutely hateful bastards for no reason other than that they’re upset and need everybody else to be upset too. I’m lucky I have a handful of supportive people irl because I sure asf wasn’t gonna find it here!
If you don’t mind answering, what sort of surgery did you get for a NB transition?
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Doesn’t really matter here. The saying is “the man, the myth, the legend”. If you go changing every part of it you might as well have not said anything at all because it won’t make any sense.
Agree. Some expressions become so iconic they get genderless. Just like sometimes it’s accept to use “man” and “dude” as a genderless exclamation
The Ma’am the myth the legend is right there though :D
Exactly this.
Its an honest mistake and I think if you appealed the ban you’d have a good case for it, however as you now know that’s the trans flag you can be more mindful in future :)
Girl, you’re good. It’s all a simulation.
Always has been
Tbh honest when online gender is just a myth everyone is just a typing bot no one is actually whatever gender they think they are and stupidly everyone who judged you on those comments is either didn’t know the whole point of the Fediverse or has forgotten, because one of the main reasons that founds the whole existence of this place is anonymity from companies earning money selling our data, the fediverse is an escape from the company greed therefore there’s no he or she we’re all equals here and it’s valid to say " the man, the legend… as it is to say way to go sis… " as we’re all just free anonymous accounts as should be and we need to delete the gender concept maybe starting with using gender neutral terms online until everyone’s comfortable with the idea because to be banned or have your account deleted for misgendering another user is just crazy and defeats the whole fediverse concept.
Gender is an incredibly validating concept specifically for some trans people, to write it off is unhelpful.
I mean in my “very long” years of experience never seen in an anonymous ungoverned platform someone intentionally revealing any peace of personal information about themselves like in hacking platforms for example someone calling themselves “he who hacks” or “her majesty” or such where those are only simple usernames but yet reveal enough to minimize the search area and along with the comments data could trigger enough data to start and osint attack on the user and then eventually dox them…
if you’re obligating everyone to acknowledge your personal data don’t be nagging when companies be selling your data and making profit out of it since there are people who like Force feeding their informations onto others to be aware of, hell I won’t even blame Lemmy instance owner to sell the users data by then.
I’ll be talking about myself and the majority of users that immigrated to this social platform based on the idea that it’s ungoverned, legally safe for all users and anonymous so when a user Calles someone bro or pal it’s if not always meant as gender neutral same as in a random people calling you bro with the meaning of that he/she descending from your mom or dad, like yourself, the logic is the same and intentions were pure, plus with the culture of respecting everyone’s right of privacy you’d learn to treat everyone as equal and the same, with the only difference is the mentality and ideas held by individuals not by gender as the only special treat to define a user.
Sometimes moderation is ridiculous. More “zealous” moderation teams just strike everyone relentlessly. Usually the kind of people that make boomers label every young people as snowflakes
Back when I was on Reddit, on the LTT subreddit, I started reading rumours that formerly known as Anthony (I am here meming with the whole X ordeal), had transitioned into Emily, and I checked the website sorta confused. I thought it was just a mistake or a joke until I saw it actually confirmed. So I did that whole party meme with me at the corner not realising that he had transitioned into she, and everyone else already having congratulated her. This got me banned.
